1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
2. You make over $100,000 a year and still can't afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.
5. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?
6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown,
and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?
9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the
11. The guy at 3:30 pm at Radio Shack wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like Dick Van Dyke really IS Dick Van Dyke (or maybe it's Max Gale?)
12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
13. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?
14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."
15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cellphones.
16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
18. Both you AND your cats have therapists.
19. The Terminator is your governor.
20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.
2 comments:
Is this original stuff?? If so, you should consider being a writer for Leno or Letterman! It's hilarious. I printed it off and gave to everyone at work. The Californians laughed the loudest. One of them had a friend in CA whose cat IS in therapy!!
Favorite Mother-in-Law
Oh no, I didn't write it. It's one of those internet jokes that goes around. I did personalize it a tad though: cats for dogs and Dick Van Dyke for George Clooney. Funny, the more feedback I get from people about this list, the closer to reality it becomes!
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