I want my Obi-Wan

Okay, I'm trying not to freak out. I don't have a temp gig today. Haven't had one, yet, this week. It's noon on Wednesday; I've got some laundry going. Just nuked myself some mac and cheese. And, I'm ignoring the little voice in my head that's asking, "what are you doing????"

I'd call someone, but I don't know who. I'd go somewhere, but I don't know where.

I've got a task I can work on in support of our upcoming LA screening of "jumping..." but somehow, I'm not making any headway there either.

Yesterday, I spent most of the day researching building blocks for a new business plan... I have these clear moments, where I see what I could do, what I want to do. And, especially now, in my second trimester, I'm feeling more capable, settled, ambitious to keep plugging away at my career goals. AND, especially b/c we moved out here in support of those goals, and we're currently facing yikes! financial challenges right now. I feel motivated, to put it mildly, to make headway on getting paid to make movies.

But, I have moments/days like today where I have too much time on my hands, and all these questions start pinging around, doubts. A bunch of "shoulds" + impatience = frustration, worry.

I'm meeting with this writer again on Sunday about a script/idea that I pitched to him, and that he's enthused to write. It's a suspense-mystery-drama story. He also has a horror script he sent me to read as a writing sample (it's not a slasher horror, more of a ghost story), which he's also asked me whether I want to take on as its producer. Short answer is, "I don't know, yet."

It's well-done; he's a polished writer (which is good, considering I'm working with him now on an idea of mine). I have a couple problems with the third act -- right now, as it is, it doesn't speak me personally enough to sign on. But, then, I get the questions -- what if he addresses my third-act concerns? It is a horror script (and a ghost story, which is more my speed than Friday the 13th Part 25), and those types of projects are "hot" right now, more sellable as a genre than other types of projects. And, it would be relatively "cheap" to make, b/c it's fundamentally a simple story/set-up, number of characters, locations, etc. It could be a good complement to the one we're developing together...?

I have another story idea which I want to develop. It's also a "genre" script - a techie heist/action movie. I'm going to find a writer (a la Chris above) who likes writing for that genre and seek to develop that idea into a script, too. So I think, if I have the suspense/drama, the techie heist actioner, and a competent horror script -- hey, that's a good selection to have in the basket and start shopping for money and attachable elements (actors, directors, etc.). And, if one of them isn't as personal to me, so be it. Right?

I guess today, I wish I had a mentor. Someone in the industry, more experienced, to whom I could "soundboard" all this stuff, these questions in my head. Someone who'd have a suggestion or an insightful question that would aright me when I start to wobble.

Oh Great Genie of the Universe, I want a mentor!

I actually have someone in mind. That's why I've started putting things down on paper and researching stuff... There's an experienced producer, with whom I interviewed several months ago. I didn't get the gig, but he said I made a good impression, and I asked to bring him something to review when I had something... he agreed.

I've been thinking January. I'd ping him again, pursue a chat, coffee, meeting, something in January. But, now that I'm sitting here typing, I've just thought, "I have questions now." Plus, I'm working on putting irons in the fire now. Why not touch base with him again now?

See, questions again.

Is there a right answer? Not just one, probably. Right?

I thought so.