Self Pep Talk

Monday, Monday.

It's a beautiful day out here. Sunny, blustery. Kept pulling mouthfuls of hair out of my face when I went outside to get lunch.

Weekend was fine. I went shopping on Saturday and bought... new socks and underwear! New gym shoes! Tops to wear to work in the coming warmer months and another pair of spiffy jeans (at Sears, natch!). And, a new purse. Except for another pair of fashionable-but-comfy brown shoes, I'm done. I am now set for "pseudo-cazh" (yet affordable - no $150 t-shirts for me at this point!) - studio lot dressing for the summer and beyond.

Had a late Easter breakfast at Tracy and Lisa's house Sunday. Quite yummy.

More dreams about spiders (big as my fist and hairy) and a CSI-like mystery involving multiple murder(s) and two female ghost/zombies.

But, really, I'm fine.

The folks here at work offered me $18/hour to stay. They want me to stay on "freelance," which means they don't pay the temp agency anymore, but I'm not Paramount staff either. I'd get paid out like a vendor each payday - and, no benefits. After doing some math, I ultimately asked them this a.m. if they would swing $20/hour instead... Word is from my temp agency guy that $18/hour is ridiculously low - he said $25/hour should be more like it. BUT, here we are, and this is what's in front of me at the moment.

This wrangling feels a little... irksomely anxiety-producing. Little questions start pinging like, "Am I settling too soon?" "Is this the right place for me?" "When will I make more money?" Stupid little pointless worry-questions-fears. The point is, I have a gig with nice people that's steady enough and pays enough to warrant Ken coming out NOW.

Things are settling into routine now. And, I'm not really thrilled about that. I'm really, really READY FOR KEN TO BE OUT HERE WITH ME. Routine sucks without him. It's empty. And, borderline meaningless. I look forward to piggy-backing his experience of moving out here, trying new things, adjusting, etc. Just seeing his face in the mornings, making cat sandwiches, making coffee (while saying 'COFF-ee"), going to bed and staying up too late b/c that's when we both end up feeling all chatty...

Two more weeks until I fly back to Austin.