Pep talks and refining the vision

So, last night, I had a lovely chat with my friend, Gail. Told her I was feeling limbo-y and "muddy" about direction.

See, I got a thick package on Friday from one of the writers I've been courting - yay! I spent the weekend reading all the materials and her revisions and doing research on potential comparable titles, budgets, etc.

And, I came to feel - circumspect about it all. I still love what I've loved about the story for the last 3+ years; but, I've determined this particular project will most likely have a difficult time making its money back - even if it were made for pennies, relatively.

And, you know what? I'm tired of working with just pennies.

So far, I've pursued scripts by writers I like/respect, b/c I've been seeking a rudder, or anchor from which to build out here. In other words, to be taken seriously as a (fellow) merchant in this marketplace, I've pursued acquiring wares first before presenting myself as a peer.

But, talking with Gail last night made me realize -- I'm a born merchant, and that's my "wares." I can demonstrate that I've created and sold wares (businesses/projects) -- and, what I'm really out here to sell is ME. What I'm seeking investment for is ME. My abilities to recognize viable business/investment opportunities, select/develop material, devise budgets, get physical production executed, and sell that puppy.

In fact, Gail pointed out, if I go in to an "ASK" situation with a prospective investor presenting a specific script/project that he/she doesn't like, then I've actually introduced an unnecessary negative into the equation. Instead, I can evaluate the marketplace, the opportunities and their parameters, the resources needed, frame my "ASK" thusly, and THEN acquire/develop specific material to meet those parameters.

I've definitely felt cloudy about my next steps out here since the end of that shoot I worked on and finding out I was pregnant. But, today, I felt a renewed vigor and ambition, confidence even, about direction.

Okay, so that's a recap of BIG LIFE AMBITION thoughts. On the pregnancy side, I've craved mac and cheese the last three days. :)