Defeat

This afternoon, we folded the project I've been producing. We were supposed to start shooting this past Saturday, and then again tomorrow. We just couldn't surmount all the details and emergent flake-out factors that kept popping up.

I said in an earlier blog entry that attempting this project was near impossible from the beginning... But, now I'm home, and I'm wiped out. I want to cry. I already have cried today. I've worked my ass off for the last two weeks straight, and I'm not gonna have a project or the meager stipend to show for it either. Just a lot of frustration and stress, and ultimately being the One Who Said It Can't Be Done. The Writer and his know-it-all peanut gallery friends think it is a failure of will. Which is SO false. Their presumption is insulting to the folks who've been working like nuts to make this sh-- happen...

I have met people on this project that I didn't know before, whom I like. I'm glad I've met them. I'm also glad Colin (the writer) and I had our little arc together, and that that's over.

Oh, and did I mention that I got "fired" from my freelance writing gig this weekend, b/c they didn't like what I submitted?

Yeah, that was nice.

Feelin' really great about everything today.