No pithy logline here - just agh

Need a moment to vent here. Project I'm working on has presented several headaches. Not enough funds (always), creative control/differences, a writer who's so focused on getting HIS shot, his output on the page that he keeps getting in the way of the whole team who's trying to execute production of his script...

We're two days away from the target start date of our shoot, and he's turning in additional pages, with additional locations, extras, stunts... I just shake my head and marvel how clueless he is. And, how, despite my best efforts, I can't seem to herd this cat into the corral. I find myself this past week constantly climbing back on top of the pile, so to speak. Every time I, and the rest of the key crew team (which ROCKS), get to where we think we've got things covered, we get toppled off.

All this is making me think, 'what am I doing?'

I think to myself - I knew he was green. I knew this project was just about impossible to pull off - mostly b/c of the extremely short timeframe there was to work with. But, I thought, the "vibe" among the team was something I liked, it came with funding, and the compressed timeframe could be a good "whittler," gauntlet through which to shape the writer's material, force difficult choices.

And, that's been the case, to a great extent. But, then he revolted. He got stressed out and freaked out about changes, and I got mad at his revolt, his immaturity. Between the stresses of pulling monkeys out of my butt the last two weeks and pregnancy hormones, I didn't swallow my anger and hold back -- hold back to come around from a calmer angle. I just threw my hands up in the air and left the room.

Thirty minutes later I came back. And, I'm glad I left (because he was being a pinhead), and at the same time, I'm chagrined to have lost control (because I am not a pinhead).

So, here we are today at ANOTHER precipice, and I doubt that I've been a good enough producer. I doubt that I still care. I'm doubtful and mad that I haven't been able to stay serenely "above it all," and remain the calm, focused voice of We-Can-Do-It. I think to myself, 'oy, this drama; I'm so not into this.' I just wanna pack up my toys and go home.

But, I won't. I'll suck it up, clear my head, face this latest hurdle, and work toward a solution that is best for everyone.

Sigh. Agh. Pflltt.