A Sleepless New Father Ponders the Future in His Underwear
Just excorsizing a few demons here. Please bear with me.
Before we got pregnant I wondered with Lorie if bringing a new life into this screwed up world was a good idea in light of the imminent "perfect storm" of likely US economic collapse, global overpopulation, global peak oil, global climate change, global terrorism, and potentially never-ending global wars over dwindling resources. Whew! Am I leaving anything out? Plenty. But these are the biggies, and we're already seeing varying degrees of warning signs on all of these fronts. I won't bore you with details & supportive links; you already either agree with my concerns or you think I'm chicken little.
I could never come to a definite decision about this "child/no child" debate. One internal voice kept saying, "if only stupid, uncaring people reproduce, humanity will REALLY be screwed," which is the premise of the film "Idiocracy." Lorie was ambivalent, "what will be will be."
And thus nature decided for us. And I'm totally OK with that.
The Strengths We Carry Into the Future
Although Lorie agrees there are serious looming global issues, she willfully refuses to act from a sense of crisis. What will be will be and as humans have always done, we will cross each bridge as we get to it and we will help our friends and family cross theirs. She believes Audrey came into this world because there's something her soul needs to experience in these crazy times and who are we to deny her? Maybe she'll further clarify her point of view below.
Lorie's thoughts:
[...]
PS: I love that baby sling in the photo, on loan from Kelly and Olaf. At this early stage it gives Audrey that womb-like total body cocoon feeling of security and constant contact with the parent which I believe leads to a calmer and better adjusted little human down the road. Also, doing daily activities like laundry, etc with the extra weight gives me some sorely needed exercise!
PPS: I see how having a baby in a strong marriage like ours strengthens that bond (we have a new common project/goal to focus on together - the ultimate project: shaping a new human life), whereas an already unhealthy relationship would likely get worse due to the increased lifestyle-complexity and stress of this project. It's funny to note how we couldn't paint our Rockville condo together or move into this apartment without pissing each other off, but we're cooperating easily on this much longer, more complicated, higher stakes, more expensive, more painful, and more stressful project! Go figure.
Before we got pregnant I wondered with Lorie if bringing a new life into this screwed up world was a good idea in light of the imminent "perfect storm" of likely US economic collapse, global overpopulation, global peak oil, global climate change, global terrorism, and potentially never-ending global wars over dwindling resources. Whew! Am I leaving anything out? Plenty. But these are the biggies, and we're already seeing varying degrees of warning signs on all of these fronts. I won't bore you with details & supportive links; you already either agree with my concerns or you think I'm chicken little.
I could never come to a definite decision about this "child/no child" debate. One internal voice kept saying, "if only stupid, uncaring people reproduce, humanity will REALLY be screwed," which is the premise of the film "Idiocracy." Lorie was ambivalent, "what will be will be."
And thus nature decided for us. And I'm totally OK with that.
The Strengths We Carry Into the Future
- FINANCIAL: Lorie and I are confident we will always have enough money for our family. We have no significant debt. In the last year we sold our Austin house for a nice profit and paid off all our credit card debt. One of our cars is paid off. Our biggest debt right now is "in the family" and structured so as to pose less of a backlash (I hope!) than an impersonal bank loan, should our economy crash. Financially we are better prepared for national economic troubles than anyone who has multiple liens on house and cars, tens of thousands in credit card debt, and no savings. In other words: most Americans!
- FAMILY & FRIENDS: We've been pretty diligent about fostering good relationships with family and friends wherever we've lived, and I'm VERY proud to say my immediate family is as loving and mutually supportive as any I've seen in this scattered, disfunctional society; my parents are still very much married and in love, and all my brothers and sisters-in-law get along fantastically. Wherever we look in our family trees, we have strength and support and love. Whether or not life gets rough in the future, I think I speak for Lorie too when I say most positive things in our life involve the good friends and family we are blessed with. Uh oh, these are the kinds of thoughts that bring tears of joy and gratefulness to my eyes. Moving on.
- LIFESTYLE: We've never been typical !AMERICAN CONSUMERS! usually choosing to do without rather than leverage debt or eat savings to feed our every materialistic want (although I hearby reserve the right to move my music collection entirely into the mp3 player world as soon as possible! I should be able to fund this migration entirely by selling off my CDs after I rip them.) We try to reduce, repair, and reuse what we have. We've casually learned about and experimented with food gardening and alternative building techniques. I lived for a year in Austin without a car, choosing instead to bike, walk, bus, or just stay put. All these practices and more will put us in good standing should future conditions force us to downsize and become more self-sufficient in the future.
- MARRIAGE: Simply put, we love each other deeply and that emotion has only grown stronger with Audrey's arrival. Together we will boldly take on whatever the future holds!
Although Lorie agrees there are serious looming global issues, she willfully refuses to act from a sense of crisis. What will be will be and as humans have always done, we will cross each bridge as we get to it and we will help our friends and family cross theirs. She believes Audrey came into this world because there's something her soul needs to experience in these crazy times and who are we to deny her? Maybe she'll further clarify her point of view below.
Lorie's thoughts:
[...]
PS: I love that baby sling in the photo, on loan from Kelly and Olaf. At this early stage it gives Audrey that womb-like total body cocoon feeling of security and constant contact with the parent which I believe leads to a calmer and better adjusted little human down the road. Also, doing daily activities like laundry, etc with the extra weight gives me some sorely needed exercise!
PPS: I see how having a baby in a strong marriage like ours strengthens that bond (we have a new common project/goal to focus on together - the ultimate project: shaping a new human life), whereas an already unhealthy relationship would likely get worse due to the increased lifestyle-complexity and stress of this project. It's funny to note how we couldn't paint our Rockville condo together or move into this apartment without pissing each other off, but we're cooperating easily on this much longer, more complicated, higher stakes, more expensive, more painful, and more stressful project! Go figure.
2 comments:
I always do my best future-pondering in my underwear.
Greg
I have just returned from a Parent=athalon. RIght after getting home from L.A. I headed to Nashville where I supported my "little one" in her 1/2 marathon (which she finished), discussed her desire to move off campus into a home with three boys next fall (not happening), secured a storage unit, climate controlled no less and one of the very few left in the greater nashville area, and boxes, met a dozen friends and their parents, bit tongue several times, (in a good way), got some nice hugs and mother daughter time, and arrived home again about 11p.m. to find the dogs and cats (four of whome were acquired after my "little one" begged and begged that they were "supposed to be in our family".) Next Tuesday, I drive back, help her pack and move her back to Austin.
Still, I have a sense of peace with my fatigue, parenting will exhaust you. Parenting complicates everything and at the same time simplifies everything by taking it down to the core of what matters.
Audrey is a very lucky girl!
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